I'm writing this newsletter well before you receive it. Today I should be in Brazil visiting family with my husband and my 2-year-old son (as of yesterday!) . Being back home—a home that has not been my home for 10 years—made me think about what this word means to me now. The truth is, for the longest time I never felt at home anywhere. I'm Brazilian, but of Japanese descent, and even though I was born in São Paulo (a place that has the largest Japanese population outside Japan), I moved to the south of the country early on and there weren't any Asians over there.
I was a foreigner in my own country. Every stranger would start a conversation asking where I was from. And there were so many preconceptions attached to this that I blurred my line of self.
It didn't help that I had an accent because of the move. I felt seen when all I wanted was to blend in. A mark that defined me without my consent.
The confidence that finally came along with age broke soon after, when I moved again, to an even more scary setting: away from family and friends, only with my husband in search of our future. And so, we began anew.
Now that we've been in Vancouver, Canada, for 9 years, this is currently my home, but I now know Brazil will always be my home too. I had to be away from it to realize how I will carry it anywhere I am.
Home to me nowadays means rest, points of connection to myself and people I love. I'm so lucky to have so many of those here and there. And so, today, I'm home.
Some last bits
Watched “I’m still here”. The Brazilian movie that is a contender for the Oscars for best movie and actress. It broke my heart and I cried. Highly recommend it.
Brazilian Ear Candy: João Selva and Rosa Rosah.
Happy Valentines, here is an older post I did about it some time ago
My dear valentine
Here is a compilation of some illustrations for this Valentine’s Day. I hope you have a loving day ♥️